She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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