the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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