I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
