I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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