Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
