I wish life had little blips of pornography
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
