Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
