I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
