No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
