I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
