I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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