You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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