I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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