I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
