I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
