a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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