Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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