Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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