Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize