I need help removing her.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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