nut hugger
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize