she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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