What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
