Kiss
Puke
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
