Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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