is your mom at the bar?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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