Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
