the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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