as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize