how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
