I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I enjoy the company of your penis
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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