hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
