Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
