Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
