Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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