he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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