I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
