you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
