they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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