I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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