found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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