physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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