My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
