why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
