I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
