I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
