I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So here I am, sexting at work.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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