i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
