Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
