after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
