she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
