yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
