Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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