Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
accomplished twins. life is a go
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
