I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize