Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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