There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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