hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
