So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
