i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
